I stay up until I'm foo tired to do much else. I play games on my phone or computer... Anything really to avoid a silent mind.
I've been alone this week, my partner has been out of town. My attempts to grieve have failed. I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to do to grieve...act sad?cry? Be sad? I don't even believe it's true half the time... I still plan for when we buy the sweet house with a yard for the pig and a mother in law apt for mom... It's like it's all some weird sick test of my faith in my love for my mom...
"if you love her enough, she wont really be dead ..."
The cat sees her spirit, he's spotting her all over the house. He will meow to her and play with her energy but visually there's nothing there. Normally I'd chalk it up to weird cat behavior but he doesn't do that...or he never used to. It only started after she passed. She was in my dreams for a while. The witch shop lady said that was a first step for spirits before you could really contact them via medium... My issue is that I'm afraid I won't be able to find a medium I trust with this. It's almost like finding a good shrink. You can't just chose a schmuck offa the street.
Finally exhaustion.
I've been alone this week, my partner has been out of town. My attempts to grieve have failed. I'm not sure what exactly I'm supposed to do to grieve...act sad?cry? Be sad? I don't even believe it's true half the time... I still plan for when we buy the sweet house with a yard for the pig and a mother in law apt for mom... It's like it's all some weird sick test of my faith in my love for my mom...
"if you love her enough, she wont really be dead ..."
The cat sees her spirit, he's spotting her all over the house. He will meow to her and play with her energy but visually there's nothing there. Normally I'd chalk it up to weird cat behavior but he doesn't do that...or he never used to. It only started after she passed. She was in my dreams for a while. The witch shop lady said that was a first step for spirits before you could really contact them via medium... My issue is that I'm afraid I won't be able to find a medium I trust with this. It's almost like finding a good shrink. You can't just chose a schmuck offa the street.
Finally exhaustion.
No comments:
Post a Comment