Alone

I wish I had someone to talk to about this... Every time I think about it all some kind of mental coin dozer just pushes the thoughts and feelings deeper and deeper back. I really think I'm stuck in a strange dream world where sometimes your still alive And grandma isn't managing to foul up any kind of memorial service you might have. It makes me sick to think of it, like Shes trivializing your life even further than she did when you were Alive.... It makes me mad and further adds to all this confusion I feel. I am so lost and I feel like now more than ever I need you... But isn't that how it goes?